have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
