Do you still have your period?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize