They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
