so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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