when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
