glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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