WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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