is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
