You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
