Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize