this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
