that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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