hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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