Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
