I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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