____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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