Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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