Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize