I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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