Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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