i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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