it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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