the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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