I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
