The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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