Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
