oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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