Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
