What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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