I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
