what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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