you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize