hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize