Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
