My friends, they love my intelligence
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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