butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
