Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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