4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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