I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My hand turned me down
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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