i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
