so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
