So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
pray to the hookup gods
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize