Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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