I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
