don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
