physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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