how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
