the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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