I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Randomize
