Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
