Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize