We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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