It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
