does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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