If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
