yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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