I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
