She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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