I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
