Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize