I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
