on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
